Day 4

Last week before the fast began, I found myself standing in front of my cupboard at 9 p.m. mindlessly searching for something to eat. I wasn't hungry in a physical way; I had eaten a healthy and satisfying dinner and had dessert with the kids. But here I was, eating tortilla chips, asking, "Why are you eating if you are not hungry? What other kind of hunger are you masking with food?"

Throughout these first four days, I've discovered so many times when I used to reach for food, or eat something, even though I wasn't hungry. I'd grab a mini-candy bar in Donna's office. I'd get a cookie when I walked by the cabinet. I'd eat a piece of cheese because I was bored. I'd stop for a cup of coffee as a reward for making a long drive.

Food can mask our deep hungers, and fasting gives us the opportunity to pause and look deeply at each bite we take with intention. Because most of us live in houses with others who are not fasting, our cupboards and fridges are filled with temptations. The opportunity to fill our deeper hunger with something we don't need or even want is ever present.

So tonight, ask yourself: Why do I eat? Is there a deeper hunger that is bubbling up within during this period of fasting? What does my soul long for that I try to smother with food? How is God using this time of reflection and abstinence to call my attention to a part of my spirit I usually wouldn't attend to?

Living God, you have given each human a hunger inside that can only be filled with your food. In our busyness, in our apathy, in our haste, in our fear, we try to stuff that hunger full of other things: television, food, alcohol, work, exercise. Forgive us when we try to fill the emptiness with anything other than you. Shor us through this time of fasting how to drink deeply of your spirit and eat heartily of your love and grace. We ask this through Jesus, our water and bread of life. Amen.